Our older loved ones may enjoy having guests over for a visit, but when Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, or other cognitive impairment is a factor it may make things difficult. However, it’s not impossible to have a positive experience during these visits — all it takes is some preparation ahead of time by getting to know a few dos and don’ts. Understanding more about our loved one’s condition and creating great memories may encourage the family to visit more. Here, we share a few ideas to encourage family and friends to see a loved one with Alzheimer’s.
Tips for planning a visit
- Schedule your visits when your loved one is feeling their best.
- Turn off the TV and any loud music to minimize distractions. Keep the environment quiet and calm and ask non-visitors to transfer to another room.
- Limit the visitors to only 1 or 2 guests since too many people may become overwhelming.
- Send this list to other visitors to make sure they absorb this information.
The fundamental dos and don’ts for the visit
Do:
- Keep your body language and tone positive and friendly.
- Avoid speaking too loudly.
- Stay within their eye level and make eye contact.
- Be sure to introduce yourself even if they should know you.
- Give them time to speak.
- Take time to sit together, even in silence. Older adults may enjoy this too.
- Ask open-ended questions and remember that there is no right or wrong answer.
- Use short sentences and speak slowly. Some examples are: “Hi, Alice. I’m Judy, your friend.” or “What a great day. It’s nice outside, isn’t it?” or “How have you been?”
- Follow their lead and don’t force activities or conversations on them.
- Let them express fear, anger, or sadness, and validate those feelings.
- Discuss and share memories from the past — it’s likely they’ll remember things from years ago.
- Come prepared with something to do, such as a photo album to go through, a playlist with their favorite music, or a book to read to them.
- Play along with them, even if they start talking about things that don’t make sense or things that aren’t true.
- Give him or her a gentle touch, a hug, or massage their arm or shoulder, if your loved one allows it.
Don’t:
- Argue, because this may cause them embarrassment or anger.
- Assume they can’t remember anything. Some older adults can clearly remember a few moments and even full memories.
- Say things like “do you remember?”
- Rush the conversation.
- Point out their mistakes. This will only make them feel bad.
- Take anything personally. They may say things out of fear, anger, or confusion, but it’s not their fault.
- Talk down to them. They need to be shown the proper respect and shouldn’t be treated like a child.
- Pretend like they’re not there and talk to other people about them.
Visiting a loved one with Alzheimer’s can be a challenging task to face, especially if you’ve had a prior negative experience. But with the right attitude and a strategy in place to work towards creating a pleasant environment for your loved ones, you may just be able to take home a new wonderful memory. For more details on how to find the best care for a loved one with Alzheimer’s, dementia, or cognitive impairment, visit our guide, Just the Facts: A Guide to Memory Care.
Call (240) 414-8557 if you have any questions or schedule a personalized tour today.