Compassionate Interactions with a Loved One with Alzheimer’s Disease

When individuals live with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, their relationships will change. As a progressive disease, the symptoms will worsen over time but the rate in which it does can vary from person to person.

Although the behaviors and challenges can overlap, there are three general stages. The following can provide an outline for guidance:

Stages of Alzheimer’s disease

Early Stage

The individual in the early stages may be functioning independently, continue to work and still drive. But he or she may begin forgetting words, the location of everyday objects and experience other memory lapses.

Middle stage

This is usually the longest of the stages. Individuals’ symptoms will become more pronounced and there can be more difficulty in expressing feelings or performing routine tasks. They may begin to withdraw and demonstrate personality changes.

Later stage

The symptoms become severe and the individual will find it more difficult to carry on a conversation or to control movement. Behavioral and personality changes will continue and 24/7 attention and care will eventually be needed.

Source: Alzheimer’s Association

Tips for interacting with those living with Alzheimer’s disease

But regardless of the stage, your loved one may be in, interacting and connecting with others is always important. Knowing that people care is critical to the quality of life.

If you’re unsure of how best to compassionately support your family member, the following recommendations may help:

1. Encourage them to interact socially

Although the individual may begin wanting to spend more time alone or avoiding social situations due to increased anxiety, it’s essential that they continue to have contact and conversations with others.

The benefits include:

• Increases feelings of belonging
• Helps to ground the person in the present
• Helps stimulate the brain
• Can help increase their self-esteem
• Contributes to a higher quality of life

Tip: Planning ahead before your visit and thinking about activities you could share is a great way to take the pressure off of making conversation, if that is becoming more difficult.

Talk to the primary caregiver for help to tailor your efforts toward your loved one’s interests and abilities.  

2. Flexibility is key: take cues from your loved one

Plan ahead but keep in mind that you’ll always need to be flexible when interacting with someone who is living with dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.

Become familiar with their likes and dislikes but remember that their preferences and abilities may change as the disease progresses. The goal, however, is not completing an activity but spending time together and showing that you care.

Tip: When planning a visit, try to choose the time of day that is typically best for them. Be prepared but also pay attention. If they begin showing signs of restlessness or frustration, it might be better to try again another day.

3. Consider their preferences

Always begin with their preferences or past interests when planning for conversations or activities to share.

Ask your loved one what they would like to do or check-in with the primary caregiver for the type of activities that are enjoyed most. It might be playing a game, sitting quietly listening to music or taking a walk outside and appreciating the fresh air and sunshine.

Tip: If they no longer seem to show as much interest as they once did in a subject, let it go. It may be that they can no longer keep up their end of the conversation and are embarrassed at what they don’t remember. Don’t put them on the spot. Just change the topic.

4. It’s OK to be less than truthful

If your loved one no longer remembers that they have lost their spouse, it’s often kinder not to continually remind them. Re-telling them each time you visit that their partner is gone can cause them to live through the shock of the news and suffer the loss again and again.

Known as compassionate conversations or therapeutic fibbing, this strategy allows family and friends to meet those living with Alzheimer’s disease where they are – which may also decrease their agitation and anxiety.

Tip: Consider the value in relaying devastating news over and over to those who may no longer be able to retain or process the information. If you’re uncomfortable not being completely honest, try changing the subject or redirecting their attention.

5. Respect their dignity

A person living with Alzheimer’s disease may also now be living in an unfamiliar world. It can be a struggle that you can’t quite imagine. Take special effort to make them feel comfortable when you are there and lessen any anxiety when possible.

Showing up is a bigger act than you might realize. Even family members may be tempted to avoid their loved one for fear of saying or doing the wrong thing. But your presence conveys the significant meaning that the person still matters to you.

Tip: What not to do?

• Don’t chide them for not remembering a certain fact
• Don’t insist that they could remember if they tried harder
• Don’t appear hurt that they forgot your name or who you are. They can’t help it.

Ingleside’s Memory Care neighborhoods 

If your family is considering memory care, we hope you will visit one of our Ingleside communities. We believe you’ll find we support all of our residents to live their best lives and encourage them to take advantage of all the benefits we offer, including: 

• An intimate and secure residential neighborhood
• Spacious, sun-filled residences with large windows
• Outdoor spaces and raised gardens
• Person-centered service plans that incorporate the seven dimensions of wellness
• Intergenerational programming
• Holistic fitness and well-being program
• Technology-based engagement opportunities incorporated into daily life
• 24-hour licensed nursing, under the direction of a full-time registered nurse
• A caring team, educated in best practices in dementia care
• All-day, flexible dining, featuring chef-inspired meals, a stocked kitchen and hydration stations
• Family support, education and engagement
• Social integration within the greater Ingleside community
• Access to the Ingleside Center for Healthy Living, including on-site physician offices, therapy suites, wellness center, salon and spa, and so much more
• A full continuum of support on-site, with 24-hour long-term care and short-term rehabilitation
• All-inclusive, bundled daily rate
• All utilities, including basic phone and cable TV
• Daily housekeeping and laundry service
• Support from the Westminster Ingleside Foundation, if needed

For information on Ingleside’s Westminster at Lake Ridge senior living community located in Lake Ridge, Virginia, please call (703) 420-7105 with questions or to schedule a personalized tour today.

For information on Ingleside at King Farm senior living community located in Rockville, Maryland, please call (240) 414-8557 with questions or to schedule a personalized tour today.

For information on Ingleside at Rock Creek senior living community located in Washington, DC, please call (202) 846-2651with questions or to schedule a personalized tour today.